


the boy king

by AutumnKnight17



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:27:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29145930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutumnKnight17/pseuds/AutumnKnight17
Summary: Kim Doyoung loves Lee Taeyong, more than he could ever love himself.
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 1
Kudos: 103





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is for my girlfriend my muse who really made me fall in love with this group I love her and them so much <3

"You love him, don't you?" 

It takes about a moment, maybe two or three, but Doyoung doesn't want to admit how much Haechan took him by surprise so he'll say one. It's 3 am in the van and they're waiting for their leader in silence, Haechan on his phone and Doyoung looking out of the tinted windows, a situation they've been in countless times before. 

Doyoung can't tell why it's different now. 

He doesn't even know what to say.

"He'll be back soon," Haechan suddenly promises, staring at Doyoung now in that intense way you don't really see him do usually. Doyoung knows this side of Haechan better than anyone, borne of years of rivalry, this is focus. Haechan is a funny guy, until he isn't. 

"Okay," Doyoung says, voice breaking.

It's a very honest moment. 

____

"You should tell him," Haechan says, in the quiet of their dorm room. Taeyong went straight to bed and collapsed the moment they arrived. Doyoung watches the popcorn turn around in the microwave and listens to the hum. 

"I can't," Doyoung says, and he hates admitting these types of things to Haechan, but he can't do it, and there's nothing else to say about it. There is no  _ soon _ , there is no  _ someday _ , there's only  _ I can't _ and that's that. 

Doyoung looks at Haechan through the reflection in the microwave glass, and wishes with everything he has that he can't see him right now because the way Haechan is looking at him makes him wish he could've said something different. 

Haechan goes through a litany of emotions, he would find it funny if it didn't mean so much, and then Haechan settles on something Doyoung can't quite name.

"I thought you were braver, Hyung." 

Doyoung thinks he's hurt in a way only Haechan can manage.

"I thought you loved him more than that." 

_ I do _ , Doyoung thinks, and then turns around to say so, but he can't, the words get caught in his throat. Haechan is already staring straight at him, saying something without saying anything. 

  
_ Then prove it. _


	2. Chapter 2

Johnny hangs around Doyoung a lot the next day. 

"What?" Doyoung finally says when Johnny and he are alone in the dressing room, their makeup artists are out for lunch and Johnny is already done getting ready, Doyoung is picking through the shirts on the rack and he can feel the older boy's stare. 

"Get this one," Johnny says, walking over to him and picking out a cream coloured silk button down shirt, "only do up 4 buttons." 

"What?" Doyoung says, automatically taking the shirt handed to him. 

"And this," Johnny says, already at the jacket rack, tossing Doyoung a white jacket with a black inside that's way too big for him. 

"Taeyong loves fashion," Johnny says. Doyoung feels irritation rise up inside him for a second before he meets Johnny's eyes. Johnny is serious. 

Johnny bullies Doyoung the most, but he doesn't feel made fun of right now. Johnny sighs with the exasperation of an older brother, and he doesn't want to cry but his eyes burn when he feels Johnny's warmth around him. 

Johnny drapes the jacket over Doyoung's shoulders, but he's closer than he normally would be, and Doyoung knows this is the hug they're both too proud to have.

"Thanks, Hyung." 

___

Taeyong is in the studio again, the dorm is silent as members sleep or take time to themselves, the schedule was rough today. 

Doyoung is both tired and not. 

He's putting on his jacket to go for a run when Mark peaks his head into the room. 

"Hyung!" He says, pulling on a jacket as well, "let's go for a walk!" 

Doyoung feels himself smile, and likes the feeling of it. It comes so rare when he's not in front of a camera, so he says: "Sure." 

___

It's the middle of November so when they step out, their breath fogs. Doyoung orders Mark to go back inside and get a couple heating pads, and Mark whines for a second, but goes anyway. Doyoung stands with his back against the brick wall of their dorm and waits. 

"Here," he hears suddenly, and Doyoung looks up to find Taeyong bathed under the yellow of a streetlamp. 

"It's only 12 o'clock," Doyoung says dumbly, staring for a moment. 

Taeyong takes initiative and presses a heating pad into the palm of Doyoung's hand. 

"I wanted to come home early and watch a movie today," Taeyong says, "why are you out so late?" 

"Mark wanted to go on a walk," Doyoung responds, rubbing the heating pad between his hands. 

Taeyong laughs, and it's soft and tired but still bright. Always bright. 

"Midnight walk," Taeyong says, fondness tight in his throat, "I haven't done that since before debuting." 

"We should go tomorrow," Doyoung offers. 

"There's that new Spiderman movie coming out," Taeyong says, looking up at the sky, "the last time we watched a Spiderman movie it wasn't this actor." 

"Another remake," Doyoung says, smiling a little. 

"Things will always be different," Taeyong laughs, "but they'll always be the same too." 

Doyoung doesn't know why that feels more serious than the rest of the conversation they've had so far. 

"Yeah," Doyoung says, not really knowing what he's agreeing to. He understands Taeyong, but he also doesn't. It's always been like that. 

"There's a midnight showing, I think," Taeyong says.

"Let's go," Doyoung offers, and Taeyong smiles in that way he does when he's excited, like everything is going to turn out great and it's a contagious kind of optimism.

Sometimes Doyoung thinks he wouldn't have made it through training if he didn't see that smile every rough moment, the smile that told him he'd debut on the big stage one day. He owes everything to Taeyong. 

Every song he sings comes from Taeyong's words, every award he wins he got from performing with Taeyong in mind, every achievement came from the feeling of a best friend believing in him, someone he couldn't let down. 

Taeyong bounces on his toes, and then says "Okay, goodnight, don't stay out too late okay? Come home." 

Doyoung almost laughs because if he could, he'd come home to Taeyong for the rest of his life, but all he does is nod. 

Taeyong heads up, and then Mark is beside Doyoung and they're walking like they both know where they're going when they totally don't and Doyoung thinks it's fun like this with Mark. Being confused alone is scary, being confused with a friend is an adventure. 

Eventually they end up at a coffee shop, sitting in the corner table facing each other next to the window and they're silent while they drink their coffee. Doyoung lets the taste of caramel linger before he goes for another sip. 

Mark isn't saying anything, but then he looks up and Doyoung feels himself settle because Mark is the same as always. 

"Write with him," Mark says suddenly, "he wants a ballad this album, he fought for it, actually." 

"He should write with Taeil-hyung," Doyoung says. 

Mark looks at him for a long moment, and Doyoung feels raw, bare, stripped down and exposed. The air hurts where it touches his skin, he's hyper aware of the condensation of the drink wetting his fingers. There are moments when Mark acts exactly like Haechan, this is one, and Mark says again:

"Write with him."

"If not for anything else," Mark says, a string of disappointment running in his vocal chords as he talks, staring straight out the window suddenly, "I think he needs a best friend." 

"He writes beautifully without me," Doyoung says, Taeyong has never needed him. He's strong, competent, talented.

"Imagine what he could do if he had you," Mark says, standing, "write with him, Hyung."


	3. Chapter 3

Doyoung wakes up to the sight of gray hair and nothing else. 

"Your hair is so bright I can see it in the darkness," Doyoung jokes, feels and knows Taeyong's hand on his shoulder with familiarity that can't be mistaken. 

"I dyed it like this so I could wake you up easily," Taeyong says, smiling, squeezing, obviously kidding but it makes Doyoung's heart stutter, just a little. 

"What time is it?" Doyoung asks, sitting up.

"It's 11:20 pm," Taeyong answers, and when Doyoung's eyes adjust to the darkness he realises Taeyong is completely dressed. 

"You're already ready," Doyoung says, stretching, and Taeyong's hand falls away but the way his fingertips run down Doyoung's chest all the way to his stomach makes him ache in ways he'd rather not think too much about. Taeyong's hand rests on his thigh and he lets it stay. 

"I picked out your outfit," Taeyong responds, "it's on the couch."

"Why," Doyoung says rather than asks but begins to stand. 

"I wanted to," Taeyong shrugs. 

Doyoung walks over to the couch and he can't quite see what Taeyong picked out but he grabs them and heads to the bathroom readily without checking.

___

A cream coloured oversized turtleneck and a black penny coat alongside black slacks and boots the same colour as his tops. Doyoung smiles when he looks at himself in the mirror, he doesn't usually do that. 

"Do you like it?" Taeyong asks when Doyoung comes out.

From the light flooding out from the bathroom Doyoung can finally see what Taeyong is actually wearing. It's a white long sleeved crew neck with a diagonal brown stripe across, which only makes Taeyong's slim shoulders seem even smaller. He has on a cream coloured penny coat over that, the same shade as Doyoung's tops, and khaki slacks alongside black boots with wooden soles. 

Doyoung looks at him and knows they match. 

"Had fun?" Doyoung asks, turning in a slow circle for Taeyong to see. 

"You look good in cream," Taeyong answers, walking over and adjusting the collar of Doyoung's penny coat, "Johnny has good sense." 

"He said you'd like it," Doyoung says, unthinkingly, and almost wants to smack himself for it. 

"I do," Taeyong says simply, either not catching the implications or ignoring them entirely. Either way, it's fine. Taeyong knows already, Doyoung seeks his approval, he doesn't know _why_ , of course, and it would never occur to him to ask about the reasons around Doyoung needing it so bad because—

Because Taeyong seeks his. That's how they work. 

"Our outfits match," Taeyong says, and there it is, where Doyoung was asking for Taeyong's approval, here Taeyong is asking for his back. 

"I like it," Doyoung says, this is what they mean by feedback, assurance, approval, they can get criticism from everyone else, and they do, but these are things only they can give each other. They tell each other what they do wrong, of course, but this is feedback for them. 

Taeyong smiles and bounces on his toes and Doyoung wants to pat him on the head so he does.

They leave the dorm in silence, not wanting to disturb the already sleeping members and Doyoung doesn't want to think about how much it feels like a—

He won't think about it.


	4. Chapter 4

Taeyong hands him two heating pads when they walk out onto the sidewalk and Doyoung puts one in each pocket and keeps his hands in them, but Taeyong holds his in his hands and rubs them as they walk and he looks both tiny and warm. 

They walk quietly and it's soft and comfortable and they do what they want in this near midnight stroll, not idols but friends. 

Doyoung feels a tug at his sleeve when they pass by a glass storefront and when he looks and sees a new milkshake place and he smiles as they enter wordlessly.

"Mango shake," Taeyong orders, "and a Melon shake," he continues. 

Their orders come around 5 minutes later and they decide to walk with their shakes to the movie theatre. It's still quiet but the way Taeyong bounces as they walk makes it feel like just them. Just them in this whole wide world. 

Doyoung's soul is quiet for once too. 

"We haven't done this since before debut," Taeyong says, and Doyoung remembers exactly what Taeyong's talking about. 

  
" _ before debut _ " means  _ Taeyong's _ debut. Not theirs.

_ "I liked the movie," Taeyong says, smiling at him. Doyoung ignores how happy it makes him.  _

_ "I did too," Doyoung says, "I like this Peter Parker more, he seems," Doyoung pauses, sometimes he has trouble with this but Taeyong just looks on expectantly, patient.  _

_ "Spiderman isn't an alien, he's not a god he's—he's just a kid, so Andrew Garfield making Spiderman human feels nice," Doyoung finishes.  _

_ Taeyong nods, and seriously considers Doyoung's words. No one else really does that.  _

_ "You're right," Taeyong says. _

_ They walk in silence until they make it to the train station, and then they argue about directions back home even though Taeyong's from Seoul and Doyoung's not. Then, by the train tracks sitting on a bench watching the numbers 'till the next train arrives dwindle slowly, Taeyong turns to Doyoung.  _

_ "I'm debuting."  _

_ It feels like the end of an era.  _

_ Being trainees with Taeyong is simple.  _

_ They train, they hang out, they dream about debut.  _

_ Doyoung had long ago accepted Taeyong was better than him, at dancing, at rapping, at charisma and visuals, his competitive side died years before, and now all that was left was admiration and respect.  _

_ He knew the day would come that Taeyong would leave him behind.  _

_ He hugs Taeyong first, feels tears start to spill and hugs him tight and long.  _

_ "You made it, Hyung," he says, fisting the fabric of Taeyong's jacket in his hands as he hears Taeyong laugh into his shoulder.  _

_ Taeyong is so tiny, but he is strong, talented, he's that one in a million guy who makes it in big tough cities like this.  _

_ "I knew you would," and there's not a lie in his words. Not even a hint of one. The first time Doyoung saw Taeyong he thought he glew, something bright and warm and dripping with potential but over the years he learned it wasn't just something he was born with, it was something he made.  _

_ Talent, determination and an ache for better things that could not be quenched with anything less than success. Taeyong was going to make it, Doyoung knew it that first half second that he walked into the dance studio at SM, and he knows it now at 2 am standing by the train tracks.  _

_ When they pull away they have to get on the train and Doyoung jokes that this will be the last time Taeyong gets on a train for a while. They know it isn't a joke.  _

_ "It's for a group called NCT," Taeyong explains, "the concept is kind of weird, it's like, infinite members so if SM likes a trainee, they'll add them and it never stops."  _

_ Doyoung doesn't want to look into it too much. He can't get his hopes up.  _

_ "We're going to debut together one day, Dongyoung," Taeyong suddenly promises, squeezing Doyoung's arm where he holds onto it for balance since he can't reach the train handles.  _

_ And then Doyoung has no choice but to look forward to it because he can't let Taeyong down.  _

_ "NCT is  _ **_limitless_ ** _ ," Taeyong says, "so keep training, keep working, and I will stand next to you on stage one day."  _

_ "Please wait until I am ready for NCT," Doyoung suddenly begs.  _

_ "I will wait until NCT is ready for you," Taeyong responds.  _

"I remember," Doyoung says, smiling at Taeyong. 

"We don't get to do normal things a lot," Taeyong says. 

_ It was hard after Taeyong debuted for a while. Doyoung would go home after training and head straight to bed and wake up at 3 am hungry and tired still. Sleep did nothing anymore. All Doyoung could see when closing his eyes was the bright lights of the stage he was running towards. (Taeyong on that stage, Taeyong waiting for him, Taeyong.) _

_ Sleep didn't work.  _

_ So he gets up one night, rather than just laying there, because Taeyong's voice rings in his head like a reminder of days passed and simultaneous needs for pancakes at midnight and he can't stand the sight of his ceiling anymore.  _

_ He cooks. Takes the soy sauce, cuts up the meat the way Taeyong did, adds all the same spices, but when he's done he sits on the floor of their dorm kitchen and cries.  _

_ Taeyong cooks like he's cooking for someone he loves. Doyoung does not love himself.  _

"Stop that," Doyoung chides, grabbing Taeyong's shoulder and squeezing just hard enough to make him feel it through the coat. "Right now, we're a pair of normal boys, doing normal things, being normal. We're Dongyoung and Yongie." 

"Dongyoung and Yongie," Taeyong echoes, nodding seriously to himself, but the smile at the corner of his lips can not be kept, and so Doyoung laughs. They make their way to the theatre shortly, and the line that's gathered only has less than ten people, so they're at the counter in record time. 

"Two tickets, please," Doyoung says, and Taeyong pulls out a card that's probably Doyoung's and hands it over easily. 

"Can we get the middle back row?" Taeyong asks, and the way that the cashier looks at them makes them both blush. Doyoung tries incredibly hard not to think about what two people usually do in the middle back row of movie theatres.

"Sure," the cashier responds, handing them two tickets, and Doyoung leans over Taeyong to grab them, which kind of ends with Taeyong lightly pressed against the counter, stumbling. He rights himself by grabbing onto Doyoung's sweater, balling the fabric in his hand and clinging to the taller boy's chest. 

"Let's go!" Taeyong says, not letting go and pulling Doyoung along. 


End file.
